Take It Away
by icaughtfire
Summary: Ashley realizes just how much she hates Craig.[oneshot]


**A/N: This is a weird one for me to write, because well...I hate Ashley. I'm not kidding, I really hate her. lol. Don't ask me why, I just do.  
Inspired by the song "Take It Away", by the Used.**

Ashley stared at herself in the mirror. She brushed her hair slowly, never taking her eyes away from the reflection of herself. She stared closely, examining her eyes. She noticed how different they looked lately. Sad. She looked like a hurt little girl.

There was no doubt that Craig had hurt her, and bad. Ashley cried herself to sleep almost every night, and never stopped thinking of him. He tried to apologize, a million times, but she couldn't accept it no matter how much she wanted to. She hated him for what he'd done to her.

Cheating was the worst possible thing you could do in a relationship, besides actual abuse. A lot of her friends had been in relationships that went sour. Like her good friend Terri, whose boyfriend Rick ended up putting her in the hospital. Ashley couldn't help but feel like a hypocrite, remembering the time she cheated on Jimmy with Sean Cameron, even though she'd been under the influence of drugs.

She got up from her chair, thinking about her friend Ellie. She hadn't been talking to the girl as much lately as she used to. But that girl was definately cool.

She thought about what Ellie did to herself. The cutting. She wanted to know what it felt like. Obviously it was an amazing feeling, or her friend wouldn't have done it so much. Ashley was half afraid, but she wanted to try it at least once.

Grabbing a knife from the kitchen, she went into the bathroom. She made a tiny slit in her arm. The blood instantly came pouring out. Ashley closed her eyes, hissing through her teeth. It hurt, but somehow, it felt good at the same time. It was like...like it canceled out any of the emotional pain she was feeling right now. Her entire body was screaming. But she felt okay. That was what mattered.

She didn't want to start a bad habit, though. It was stupid to even try. But at least she knew what the sensation felt like now. It was sort of like you're floating, and no one can touch you.

No matter how much they scream your name, no matter how much they wish you back, you're in control. You're in control of your life, your pain, and your blood. It was an amazing feeling, and part of her wanted to experience it again.

Ashley felt ... alone. Especially now, with her father getting married and everything. Craig doing that to her...it made her feel so useless. She felt like she must have been a bad girlfriend if she was cheated on. She must not have been good enough.

Maybe she should have slept with him.  
Ashley pushed all those thoughts away as she turned on the faucet to the bathtub, and plugged the drain. She let herself sink into the warm water.

She kept her eyes closed, loving the sensation of the warm water on her body. The bubble bath was foaming all over, and it smelled great. She didn't remember falling asleep.

dream sequence

Everything was swirling. Craig was walking towards her, roses in his hands.

"Ash, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all I've put you through. Just listen to me. I love you more than life itself and I can't live without you! If you won't take me back, I'll kill myself!" He sounded desperate, and Ashley couldn't help thinking that was extremely out of character for Craig.

"I'm sorry too, but I can't forgive you. You are and always will be an ass. Go ahead and kill yourself, you coward, because I'm never taking you back!" She shouted at him.

end dream sequence

Ashley woke up, gasping for air. Her head had been starting to go underwater. She quickly washed her hair, and got out of the bathtub, drying off. Throwing on some clothes, she turned on her stereo and popped in a CD.

No matter what she listened to, it seemed she always thought of Craig. She hated this feeling, wished she could tear it all away. If she could stop thinking of Craig, she could get over him.

" _I can't stop itching_  
_over thoughts of tarnished hope  
kinda funny  
lonely feeling  
I'm not in love  
You know it's not love  
Don't make it look so pretty burning_. " She sang along.

Ashley felt a surge of anger rush through her. She picked up her lamp, throwing it across the room. It landed with a crash. Sinking to the floor, the girl began to sob as hard as she could. If she could take it all back, if she could just treat him differently.

None of this would have ever happened. Manny the stupid SLUT. Of course Craig couldn't resist her. Who could? Maybe if Ashley was more like her.

Who am I kidding, I could never be like her...

She continued to cry, and when she heard the front door open, she wiped her eyes. Sniffling, and trying to hide that she'd been crying, Ashley walked downstairs. Her mother was home, and Toby too.

"What's wrong with YOU?" Toby asked, raising his eyebrows.  
"Your ugly face." Ashley snapped back.

Toby rolled his eyes, shoving his older sister slightly. She glared at him, shoving him harder, so that his head hit the wall.

"Ow, what are you, crazy?" Toby complained, running into the kitchen to tell his mom. She didn't do anything about it, just laughed. Those two fought a lot, and there wasn't much you could do about it. Eventually they'd get along.

Ashley sighed, clonking back upstairs and nabbing the phone. She called Ellie.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey El, it's Ash. Things are kinda weird lately." She began.

"I know what you mean. Listen, I can't talk right now though. I'm getting ready to go to the library. I'll call you when I get home." Ellie replied, hanging up the phone.

Ashley hung up too, helpless. She didn't have anyone to talk to, and it was driving her crazy. Plus, she could hear her little brother in the other room booting up the Playstation 2. He would play that thing for hours, and the sounds were enough to make you want to pull your hair out.

Ashley picked up the phone again, dialing Craig's.

"Hello?" Craig answered.  
"Fuck you, Craig." Ashley said.

"Ashley?" Craig asked, surprised. Before he could say anything else, Ashley hung up. It felt good to say that to him. Made her feel a little bit better.


End file.
